Back in August, I caught a news clip about a photographer who refused to photograph a same-sex union ceremony based on her religious background. The headline read, “NM Court Says Christian Photographer Must Compromise Beliefs.”
A few days after, another story hit the headlines. “Oxford Restaurant Owner Kicks Out War Vet, Service Dog.” The restaurant owner claimed the service dog was fake and when questioned, he said referring to the war vet [who struggles with PTSD]; “how much emotional support do you need when you’re eating breakfast?”
Now I’m not going to get into all the politics, support issues [and how bad I wanted to smash that guy in the face] but I will ask you to think for a moment about what it means when we turn a client away.
During my massage education, I was told that it was completely and absolutely OK to refuse to work on a client for any reason. The comfort of the therapist is priority. Ultimately it is us who gets the final say in who we treat and how.
We have the ability (and sometimes obligation) to turn people away based on:
our experience or lack there of
conditions or injuries presented
our knowledge in a particular modality
that icky feeling some people give off
or even the relationship you already have with them [family, friends…]
All valid reasons. You should never treat someone outside your scope of practice, if you feel hesitant, uncomfortable or have no prior education in a specific modality or injury. Yes, even if someone so much as looks at you the wrong way and makes you feel uncomfortable treating them. You have the right to say no. And you should.
But what about if you’ve had a bad experience with a person of another race? What if you were raped by a man? What if your heart breaks every time you are around the elderly?
Is refusing to work on these types of clients discrimination?
Now let’s turn it around.
At what point is the client’s comfortability a priority? Let’s say, you are an [insert awesome modality/skill here] therapist who specializes and has years of experience in [insert condition/injury here]. And a client comes to you in dire need. Massage is their last ditch effort to find peace in their body. But this client happens to have a skin tone that matches the skin of the person linked to your bad experience or perhaps they display a certain resemblance of your rapist from years ago.
What do you do?
It’s true the client in question might not get your best work because you would be totally uncomfortable. Your massage would be shaky with distraction, nervousness, or even fear. And that’s grounds for rejection.
But, on the other hand, we are professionals. Does a real estate lawyer not take a client because of a past experience with someone else? Does a doctor turn a geriatric patient away because they miss their grandfather terribly?
I think the difference here is what we do IS professional but also has a profound way of touching people [literally and figuratively]. And I think it’s really hard to make that connection without our involvement in some way.
We must be present, even with clients who challenge us and surfaces these types of feelings.
Look at what’s really making you feel the way you do and acknowledge what’s going on. Is the client a real threat [ie: inappropriate requests]? Are they clearly out of your scope of practice? Decide. It’s important to know if you are turning someone away with good cause … or if we should just suck it up and do our job.
What do you think? Is refusing to work on someone based on their religion, color or sexual orientation discrimination? What if you have a personal history that complicates the picture?Image courtesy of artur84 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net