Or- More room on the outside, than in!

Flatulence happens. To everyone. We have to eat to survive, right? Gas is a naturally occurring, unavoidable body function. If you’ve been a massage therapist for even a short time you’ve likely encountered a client who has passed a little gas. During the early years you might get embarrassed or feel the urge to laugh. You may even be gasping on the inside and thinking “Oh, how rude!”
Eventually you learn to just get over it. We “relax” people. Clients lie flat on their stomach and are encouraged to “let go.” It is perfectly natural for a little toot to pass every now and then. If someone is asleep there’s no stopping it. Just don’t even acknowledge it. If your client doesn’t bring attention to it you shouldn’t either. After all, they felt it, they know they did it. They probably couldn’t control it and are incredibly embarrassed. If they apologize and say excuse me, accept it and try not to make a big deal. Give them a little A&P lesson about the digestive system and relaxation then move right along.

Gastrointestinal problems can make it difficult for someone to hold gas in. Sometimes one a client will drop a bomb and smell really bad. That’s one reason why I love aromatherapy! If the client starts apologizing for the scent simply pull out your favorite essential oil and say something like, “That’s why we have aromatherapy! Which do you prefer, peppermint or lavender?” Make it light and don’t act like you are grossed out. Don’t let a little poot ruin a great massage.

But what if YOU have gas? Do you know how hard it is to apply more pressure while holding in a toot?! Awkward! Funny faces, changing stances and fierce, painful concentration seem funny after the fact, but in the moment it’s just awful. But it happens. Some people have gastrointestinal issues and gas cannot be avoided. There are medications available to help with the discomfort. If you know certain foods upset your stomach don’t eat them for lunch. If possible, schedule lunch with a little time for digestion. Eat frequent snacks instead of a large meal.

Obviously we should try our absolute HARDEST not to expel gas. But if one slips out? Well, if no one hears it… (kidding), just apologize and try not to make a big deal about it. Your client may be so relaxed he doesn’t hear it. Or she may be too embarrassed to ask you about it. Don’t be the rude “crop duster,” if you stink up the room, apologize. My dad’s favorite line is, “Sorry, I stepped on a frog!” Again, reach for the aromatherapy. Then move on.

Chances are it will be forgotten by the end anyway. The incident could start you both laughing, which isn’t really a bad thing. Everyone needs a good laugh session occasionally!

It’s hard when life throws a wrench into our serene set-up. I strive to have the perfect session each and every time. When something messes that up I get upset. But life happens. We are human just like our clients who are amazing, understanding people. They can handle it if they see our “human” side.

Have you ever had a funny flatulent moment? Please share with us!

Tracy Bradley is a Licensed Massage Therapist working in Paris, AR. She celebrates her 10th year in the profession this year!

Almost 3 years ago, I had this interaction with a prospective client.  I’m not sure if I handled it the “right way” or not.  I’m not even sure I would handle it the same way today. I received the following email message.

Hi, I need your help if possible.  My wife & I will be in town next weekend for our anniversary. I want to give my wife a gift she will like. I want a massage for her, performed by a young women, and all areas treated, if you know what I mean. Do you offer this? Or can you help me find what I’m looking for? Thanks.

While there are several red flags in this message, I don’t tend to be judgmental or offended easily.  I was also curious if I was making this a request that was sexual in nature, or if he was asking for sexual services. This was my response:

Sir, It would be my pleasure to assist you with your problem.  Did you have something specific in mind?

Reflecting on this now, I’m not sure if “my pleasure” was the best word choice.  Live and learn.  I think I gave him unfounded hope. He replied with the following message:

I guess what I’m asking is some type of mild sex massage? What does a full body massage consist of? I don’t mean to be so personal but do want her satisfied. Do I need to make her an appointment for late in the day on the 24th or early morning 25th? Thank you very, very, much for your e-mail back and discussing this with me!

My suspicions were confirmed.  In a way I felt a little sorry for him.  He seemed desperate and didn’t know how to discuss this.  For all I know he may be a quadriplegic and unable to satisfy his wife. I’m still not offended here.

I decided to take this as an opportunity to educate.  I took a day to come up with a response, but this was what I sent him.

I apologize for taking so long to respond to your request.

A full body massage consists of the back, neck, head, legs, arms, feet, glutes, and chest.  In some situations therapeutic breast massage may be indicated.  It however would never include massaging the nipples or genitals.  It is illegal in Florida as well as other states for a massage to be sexual in nature.

Therapeutic massage is not sexual.  As a licensed massage therapist, I am a healthcare professional and work with doctors, acupuncturists, and chiropractors.  I am not a sex worker. I personally am college educated and attended a massage school with over 800 hours of training for treating a number of health related issues.

While I can appreciate your attempt to please and satisfy your wife, I am unable to help you in this situation.

I am curious how you chose my business to make this request.  Was it a Google search?

I never heard back from him.  I was hoping he would let me know where he found my business information, or what made him decide to contact me.  My intent was for him to understand that he should not contact a licensed massage therapist for his request in the future.

How would you reply to his request?

This post is part of the massageschool.org blog contest, check out the details and contribute here.

Eighteen years ago I graduated from massage school and I want to share a recent epiphany that has stirred an awakening in me. The excitement here is that we can all be awakened!

How? By revisiting our awareness of a simple stroke that we all perform, an effleurage stroke. This applies to all of us who massage, whether we’re teachers, students, or seasoned practitioners.

During a recent class in oncology massage, I was reminded of the simple QUALITY of a massage stroke. We’re talking about a basic effleurage stroke, here. Nothing special, we do it everyday, with every body.
It’s not very exciting, but it CAN be!

Picture placing your hand on a calf muscle. Your client’s lower leg is waiting for contact from you. This person is prone, breathing and waiting. You may have already worked on her feet, but are now moving on. You reach up to apply oil and your hand makes contact. Stop here!
Check: How much of your hand is making contact?
Check: What is your intended pace and pressure?

You may just do what you always do and reach for this area with the usual intention, pace, and pressure that has become an unchecked habit. You may even look at the clock to check your time. You may even have to retrain your hands.

I have been reminded to make sure that my whole hand is in contact, my pressure is deliberate and remains consistent, and most excitedly my pace is slow and even. It’s basic, and it’s simple, and we’ve all learned this, but when was the last time we checked to see if we were conscious of our simple stroke?

Concerned about more important things, like contraindications, we’ve come to think that this simple stroke is somewhat irrelevant to our overall plan, and this is why it can go unchecked for so long. It’s a piece of the whole that can make or break your massage plan.

Grab a co-worker. Work this simple stroke, slow and even with your whole hand, and best of all receive it yourself! It’s an eye opening experience that can revive a person, a client, a practice and a practitioner. It may even start a career.

Keeping my newly perfected little stroke in mind, I was recently told that I performed my best massage ever!